Adriana
Adriana, like a few other employees, was a former patient. And we’re so lucky to have her. She is one of our incredible Ortho Assistants. She can be perfectly described in four words: Big mouth, small hands. Adriana is a severe chatterbox. We’ve all met women who can talk, or who have the gift of gab, but she makes those chatty Cathys seem like muzzled, bashful, mannequins. Adriana is also the girl we all go to to get stuff done in the clinic. Mostly because she has THE tiniest hands. Like, she can reach to the back of a 6 year old’s molars and flick out a bagel seed with her itty-bitty fingers — no problem. Think of a pair of gerbil paws fitted with latex gloves. She also speaks Spanish which comes in handy so you won’t really understand the explicit Bad Bunny lyrics she goes around singing. You won’t meet a more loyal, harder worker ever but seriously…we’ve got cotton rolls on hand in case she talks too much and we’ll lend her to you if you lose your keys down a storm drain.
Vika
Vika makes her own soap. Like, the kind of soap that has whole sticks of cinnamon and entire pinecones in it. She’s our local Ukrainian hippy — replete with a crystal/gem collection, candle-making kit, and mushrooming tribe; it’s adorable. She’s also one of our most seasoned assistants in the clinic. JFO simply wouldn’t be the same without her soft-spoken sweetness, her most generous and loving attitude toward everyone, and her habit of stopping in the middle of a walk to sprint over to grab a unique gemstone (which usually turns out to be a crappy piece of gravel). She’s definitely a favorite around here. The only thing you have to put up with is the annoyance of wearing long-sleeves to cover up the scrapes and cuts from the soap that she gave you for her birthday.
Christina
Oh, Christina…where do we even begin? First of all, She’s just so sweet. Second, her laugh is….a LOT. Think of an evil witch trying to pretend she’s not on fire. And Christina seems to let loose on this impressive cackle at the most inopportune times. Whether you try out your funny joke about a one-legged Llama or tell her that your Aunt Jackie fell down the stairs and broke her hip, the exact same high-pitched-machine-gun-like squawk will explode from her mouth. Christina is so sweet and everyone loves her. Dr. J loved her so much he stole her from her managerial job at McDonald’s and even kept her after she quit smelling like fries - which, let’s be honest, was the main reason he hired her in the first place. Christina turned out to be so amazing, hard-working, and lovely he decided to keep her — AND her witch’s cackle.
Jessica
Our adorable Jess…she’s Dr. J’s right hand and just makes people feel warm all over; like a pet lizard lounging on one of those electric heated rocks. But unlike a pet lizard she’s relatively free from E. Coli. Similarly to many lizards, however, she’s amphibious. We’ve never actually tested this but I’m confident that given a waterproof phone, Jessica could easily check her IG, create content, and post a killer social media ad on land or underwater. Because Jess helps Dr. J with any and all community outreach events and does all things ‘marketing’ she’s affectionately known as our “Normal Ad Whiz” around here - which, you guessed it - is an anagram for “Lizard Woman”…go figure.
Daisha
If you ever come in the office and notice a series of darling, seasonal decorations and ample yet tasteful design elements (or you see Dr. J dressed remotely fashionable) than you’ve seen Daisha’s handiwork. Dr. J gushes about his amazing wife’s talents, good-looks and sweetness so often you’ll most definitely want to hate her. Unfortunately, you won’t be able to. It’s simply not possible. She’s like Audrey Hepburn and Reese Witherspoon had a love-child who was raised by Bobb Ross then mentored by Joan of Arc. Daisha really is the heart and soul of this place behind the scenes. Dr. Johnson loves her more than life itself and constantly wonders when she’s going to realize she accidentally married him and had his babies.
Dr. Cole Johnson
When Dr. J was 18 he had jobs where he felt severely under-appreciated: Mowing lawns, pumping gas, bagging groceries, and feeding Tapioca to old people. He decided then and there he would find a job where he was severely over-appreciated. His dream came true. While acknowledging that he works hard and always does his best Dr. Cole readily admits he is surrounded by amazing family, staff, and patients that make JFO what it is. Dr. Johnson is a very traditional family man but he also loves to have a good time. One of his favorite past-times is people-watching on the Vegas strip; he likes to take the Bible out of his hotel room and cross off the commandments as he sees them being broken. A kind of self-righteous game of bingo. Dr. Cole also believes firmly that if you’re about to say something stupid you should stop yourself and sing it loudly instead. He’s got the best job in the world, and is surrounded by the best people. Period.
Acadia
Acadia is our resident patient education/communication liaison. Which is just a fancy way of saying that Dr. J pays her to chat with patients and answer their questions. She’s perfect for this as she’s smart, confident and has what we call the gift of gab. It’s more like a super power. She’s got this booming voice that can be heard over loud music, passing trains, and nearby explosions. When you hear her you’ll look over thinking someone brought a megaphone in the office, alas…it’s just Acadia. Just don’t accidentally pick a fight with her like Dr. J did once over what is considered “authentic Enchiladas” - his ears are ringing to this day. Anyway, she’s amazing at her job and makes patients feel so comfortable. You’ll adore her.
Bridgette
Ms. Bridgette has more experience than all of the rest of the clinic personnel COMBINED! Having worked in the field for like 40 years or something like that. I know she looks pretty young - still spry, pretty, still has that glowing skin, and young/fun personality - but trust us when we say she’s ooooolllllld. Not like ‘flip-phone-old’…like ‘rotary-phone’ old. While all the younger ladies are out cutting loose at the clubs and cocktail hour Bridgette can probably be found knitting an afghan, drinking prune juice, and watching Perry Mason. But when it comes to the office energy; she is absolutely the vibe we all need. So smart, so fun to talk to and the voice of reason/wisdom/clarity in the JFO land of chaos. We love her. You will too. Come meet her before she passes away quietly in her sleep, in a rocking chair, Ben Gay spilled on the floor…
Olivia
Ms. Olivia (AKA Liver AKA Liv) looks exactly like a beautiful Disney princess when she’s smiling. When she’s not smiling, she looks exactly like that girl in high school who went to Juvey for bringing a shiv to school and threatening to cut-up her ex’s new girlfriend after Humanities class in the parking lot. Olivia is in charge of scheduling and greeting patients as they come in. You’ll love her. Your kids will adore her. The trick is to keep her smiling so you always get the best version of this most wonderful real-life Disney character. Truly, our Livvy is crazy-capable and wicked-clever…probably street smart stuff she learned while in Juvenile Detention.