Adi
Adi is our all-star, bilingual receptionist with the adorableness and eating habits of a fussy toddler. She won’t eat anything besides room-temperature chicken nuggets, cold cereal, or plain noodles. It’s not because of any allergies, or gluten-intolerance, honestly - it’s just because her Mom gave into her stubborn, obstinate personality. Lucky for you she’ll pretend she’s perfectly flexible and easy-going; happily scheduling and re-scheduling your appointments whenever you’d like, and going the extra mile for every single patient who needs her help - especially if you slip her some warm tater-tots from your coat pocket along with a packet of ketchup.
Memphis
Memphis at the spry age of 22, is an old soul. She’ll be the firstest, cutest, sweetest face you’ll see when you walk into JFO. She’ll immediately greet you with an emoji-like smile (you know like where her eyes turn into little slits because her cheeks slowly pinch them into oblivion? ). Memphis only has one consistent mood that can only be described as ‘perennially pleasant’. But this may confuse you when you see that her bright/shiny tone remains exactly the same whether you’re talking about the weather, complaining about your bill, or telling her that your Aunt Jackie fell down and broke her hip. She’ll creepily remain smiling while she says 80-year-old-lady platitudes like “Oh, that’s neat” “Goodness me!” “You don’t say!” or “Poor Aunt Jackie”. See? Told ya…old, crusty (but cute) little soul."
Charlene
Mama Char-Char is our Financial Coordinator. She helps JFO stay on-budget, out-of-debt, and in-line with the finances. Even at the threat of firing her she wouldn’t let Dr. J purchase an office Lemur (even though it was on sale). She also helps our patients figure out the logistics of their payments & accounts. Charlene is both soooo sweet AND a tiny bit scary - which makes her perfect for the job. When she finds out that College kids in Invisalign have been using their allowance to party instead of making a down payment, or that a couple decided to take their kids to Disneyland instead of paying their bill; she just squints at them and shakes her head ever-so-slowly until they agree to be placed on autopay. Then she’ll smile and offer to be their designated driver, or baby-sit.
Emma
Emma is that classic Idaho-horse-girl with strong opinions and a heart of gold. Think barrel-racer meets Forever 21 model. Her one flaw is that she’s a ‘One-Upper’. You know, when you’re in the middle of a cool story she just has to interrupt and say “Well, one time MY fever was so bad….” or “But have you ever tried the smoothie bowls at THIS place?!” or “That’s nothing! My uncle had a QUADRUPLE bypass!!!”? You know the type. Anyway, you’re welcome to just walk away but don’t feel bad. She’s got a sturdy horse and nice boyfriend who’ll loyally listen to whatever impressive tale she spins. But seriously Emma is quite possibly the kindest, most capable person you’ll ever meet. So come in, meet her, and tell her about yourself, then watch as she interrupts you with a story that is way better than your stupid, dumb, boring spiel.
Brianna
Ms. Bri looks exactly like a beautiful Disney princess when she’s smiling. When she’s not smiling, she looks exactly like that girl in high school who went to Juvey for bringing a shiv to school and threatening to cut-up her ex’s new girlfriend after Humanities class in the parking lot. Bri is in charge of watching over the little Ortho-garden of patients who aren’t quite ready for braces yet. You’ll love her. Your kids will adore her. The trick is to keep her smiling so you always get the best version of this most wonderful real-life Disney character. Truly, Bri is crazy-capable and wicked-clever…probably street smart stuff she learned while in Juvenile Detention.
Adriana
Adriana, like a few other employees, was a former patient. And we’re so lucky to have her. She is one of our incredible Ortho Assistants. She can be perfectly described in four words: Big mouth, small hands. Adriana is a severe chatterbox. We’ve all met women who can talk, or who have the gift of gab, but she makes those chatty Cathys seem like muzzled, bashful, mannequins. Adriana is also the girl we all go to to get stuff done in the clinic. Mostly because she has THE tiniest hands. Like, she can reach to the back of a 6 year old’s molars and flick out a bagel seed with her itty-bitty fingers — no problem. Think of a pair of gerbil paws fitted with latex gloves. She also speaks Spanish which comes in handy so you won’t really understand the explicit Bad Bunny lyrics she goes around singing. You won’t meet a more loyal, harder worker ever but seriously…we’ve got cotton rolls on hand in case she talks too much and we’ll lend her to you if you lose your keys down a storm drain.
Vika
Vika makes her own soap. Like, the kind of soap that has whole sticks of cinnamon and entire pinecones in it. She’s our local Ukrainian hippy — replete with a crystal/gem collection, candle-making kit, and mushrooming tribe; it’s adorable. She’s also one of our most seasoned assistants in the clinic. JFO simply wouldn’t be the same without her soft-spoken sweetness, her most generous and loving attitude toward everyone, and her habit of stopping in the middle of a walk to sprint over to grab a unique gemstone (which usually turns out to be a crappy piece of gravel). She’s definitely a favorite around here. The only thing you have to put up with is the annoyance of wearing long-sleeves to cover up the scrapes and cuts from the soap that she gave you for her birthday.
Danielle
Danielle is a terrific mother to her two kids; a boy named Emerson, and a girl named Madison. The only problem is she actually has three kids. Her other beautiful daughter, Saphiera, is exactly like her, so…they just don’t get along well. Both think they are in charge. Kind of like the dynamic between Danielle and Dr. J, honestly. At the office she always seems to end up being everyone’s favorite after a while - which is SUPER annoying, actually - since Danielle is an acquired taste; like oysters, jazz, or getting completely naked to go potty. But our Lady D is our most experienced Ortho Assistants and she’s SO good at what she does. Danielle is also the only one who routinely argues with Dr. J but he’s chalked it up to her strained relationship with her toddler twin.
Mataya
This is our lovely Mataya. WARNING: You’ll love her but she has some issues you’ll need to know about: 1) Don’t talk to her about your pets; she’ll start crying and immediately ask to scour your camera roll to see pictures of Mr. Wiggles (or whatever your stupid cat’s name is). 2) She hates compliments. Don’t tell her how nice or pretty you think she is; she’ll make this weird scoffing noise and immediately start acting gruff, roll her eyes, and play with her collar awkwardly. And 3) Mataya’s sense of humor is dark, and bizarre. Something that might make you real sad or thoughtful or upset will leave her cackling silently in the corner with her hand covering her mouth in apparent mirth and shame. But despite all this she’s AMAZING at making everyone feel welcome, comfortable, and informed. Like I said, you’ll love her, but if you accidentally mention how your dog got ran over by an Land Rover and she laughs (and cries) at the irony; you’ve been warned.
Christina
Oh, Christina…where do we even begin? First of all, She’s just so sweet. Second, her laugh is….a LOT. Think of an evil witch trying to pretend she’s not on fire. And Christina seems to let loose on this impressive cackle at the most inopportune times. Whether you try out your funny joke about a one-legged Llama or tell her that your Aunt Jackie fell down the stairs and broke her hip, the exact same high-pitched-machine-gun-like squawk will explode from her mouth. Christina is so sweet and everyone loves her. Dr. J loved her so much he stole her from her managerial job at McDonald’s and even kept her after she quit smelling like fries - which, let’s be honest, was the main reason he hired her in the first place. Christina turned out to be so amazing, hard-working, and lovely he decided to keep her — AND her witch’s cackle.
Haven
Haven is our Sterilization tech and ‘assistant to the assistants’. She’ll remind you of that goth chick from high school who actually turned out to be pretty nice and not as intimidating as you thought. Like a Tim Burton character, but more lovable, (a little) less lanky, and less likely to be a corpse of some kind. She’s got a great sense of humor but always keeps a straight face and makes 100% eye contact throughout all interactions which - for most people - is off-putting, but for her; totally normal. If you do get Haven to smile or laugh it’s usually just one loud hacking sound after which she’ll stop suddenly and get back to stocking shelves or sterilizing stuff. We’re all just glad she traded in her trench coat and Nine Inch Nails shirt for some scrubs to help us out.
Jessica
Our adorable Jess…she’s Dr. J’s right hand and just makes people feel warm all over; like a pet lizard lounging on one of those electric heated rocks. But unlike a pet lizard she’s relatively free from E. Coli. Similarly to many lizards, however, she’s amphibious. We’ve never actually tested this but I’m confident that given a waterproof phone, Jessica could easily check her IG, create content, and post a killer social media ad on land or underwater. Because Jess helps Dr. J with any and all community outreach events and does all things ‘marketing’ she’s affectionately known as our “Normal Ad Whiz” around here - which, you guessed it - is an anagram for “Lizard Woman”…go figure.
Dr. Shannon Schober
Our dearest Dr. Schobz/Show-time/Shanay-nay…this lovely addition to JFO has helped to calm Dr. J down and give the entire office a air of grace, professionalism, and sweetness. But don’t let her agreeable, demure exterior fool you; Yes, she’s as graceful and lovely as a yearling fawn in the woods...unless she gets mad. Then she’s like a graceful, lovely fawn in the woods that can breathe fire and somehow learned how to use a hatchet. Basically, she’s the perfect fit for our office and Batman to Dr. J’s Robin. We’re so grateful to have her attention to detail, level of expertise, and genuine thoughtfulness about patient care. If you want to read her ‘actual’ professional bio I’ve linked it here so you can see the many reasons why you might want to avoid Dr. J and ask to come in on her days:
Learn more about Dr. Schober!
Daisha
If you ever come in the office and notice a series of darling, seasonal decorations and ample yet tasteful design elements (or you see Dr. J dressed remotely fashionable) than you’ve seen Daisha’s handiwork. Dr. J gushes about his amazing wife’s talents, good-looks and sweetness so often you’ll most definitely want to hate her. Unfortunately, you won’t be able to. It’s simply not possible. She’s like Audrey Hepburn and Reese Witherspoon had a love-child who was raised by Bobb Ross then mentored by Joan of Arc. Daisha really is the heart and soul of this place behind the scenes. Dr. Johnson loves her more than life itself and constantly wonders when she’s going to realize she accidentally married him and had his babies.
Dr. Cole Johnson
When Dr. J was 18 he had jobs where he felt severely under-appreciated: Mowing lawns, pumping gas, bagging groceries, and feeding Tapioca to old people. He decided then and there he would find a job where he was severely over-appreciated. His dream came true. While acknowledging that he works hard and always does his best Dr. Cole readily admits he is surrounded by amazing family, staff, and patients that make JFO what it is. Dr. Johnson is a very traditional family man but he also loves to have a good time. One of his favorite past-times is people-watching on the Vegas strip; he likes to take the Bible out of his hotel room and cross off the commandments as he sees them being broken. A kind of self-righteous game of bingo. Dr. Cole also believes firmly that if you’re about to say something stupid you should stop yourself and sing it loudly instead. He’s got the best job in the world, and is surrounded by the best people. Period.